Humor on the Internet

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Having a rotten day? Well, this resource is intended to lighten you up a bit. Please check out the German edition of this page if you are also interested in German texts.

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Table of Contents

Local Pages

• Programming and Computers in general
• Unix
• Windows and Micro$oft
• Tech Support/Customer Support
• Internet, Mail and News
• Star Trek, Star Wars and Science Fiction
• The Sexes
• Winter and Christmas
• Philosophy and Religion
• Pets and other Pests
• Sports and Athletes
• Southern U.S.A.
• US Presidential Election 2000
• Miscellaneous

Humor on the Web

• Cartoons
• Miscellaneous

Local Pages

Programming and Computers in General

• The Power of SHIFT - The SHIFT Key FAQ
• Converting pi to binary: Don't do it!
• Null: A Computer Language Breakthrough
• The Devil and David Webster
• The Great White Programmer: How Programmers Hunt Elephants
• The C+- Language - a new dialect of C.
• Skippy, the Killer Kangaroo - of the dangers of Code Reuse.
• The Paging Game - Virtual Memory explained.
• La Boîte Bleue - from the memoirs of Jean Turing-VonNeuman
• New Software Ideas that probably will never make it.
• How Did The Computer Chicken Cross The Road?
• Tarot Cards for Hackers
• Software Olympics
• Where do the Characters go?
• The Genesis of the 'Net
• Real Programmers - A Classic.
• Mother's Day Meditations from the Computer Room - we can learn a lot from our mothers.
• The Tenne-C Programming Language - from Good Ol' Boy Systems
• The Truth About Version Numbers.
• A Day In The Life of a sysadmin.
• Press Release: Xerox Announces Hyper-Ethernet.
• The System Administrator from Hell.
• A look at the API Contracept Strategy.
• Nine User Types analyzed.
• Meditate about it - Haiku Error Messages
• The Unix Hierarchy of Being
• The Computer Expert's Glossary
• A Different Genesis for Computer Scientists
• Randal on "Learning Perl" - how to use the book.
• If Architects had to work like Programmers - Available as LaTeX Source, too.
• Computer companies: What would happen If they made Toasters instead?
• Alice in DIGITALand - also available as LaTeX-Source.
• It would be horrible if people bought computers like they bought cars
• Cobol - From alt.folklore.computers
• Which language is right for you?
• Programming Languages are like Women
• All you need to know about Proper Diskette Care and Usage
• The History of Computer Science
• The Ten Commandments for the C Programmer
• VX24 User's Bulletin: New VAX Command
• Telecommunications Philosophy 101
• CERT Advisory: ID4 virus, Alien/OS Vulnerability
• Linus Torvalds on the Linux Logo Prototype

Back to the Table of Contents.

Unix

Wether you love it or you hate it - you really should check out the "Unix Hater's Handbook" if you haven't done so yet.

• The Unix Philosophy
• 1-900-ALL-UNIX - Call now!
• Politically Correct Unix
• Unix Shell hacks
• The Toaster - Available as LaTeX Source, too.

Back to the Table of Contents.

Windows and Micro$oft

• Press Release: The Microsoft Joe-Bob™
• The Lord of the Operating Systems - an anectdote
• Press Release: Microsoft Corporation becomes Church of Microsoft
• If Contractors worked like Microsoft
• Press Release: Microsoft Aquires The USA
• The Last Man on Earth without Win'95.
• Press Release: Microsoft announces MS Panhandler
• Press Release: Microsoft to buy God
• Lunch the Microsoft way
• Ascension: Bill goes to Heaven...
• Press Release: Microsoft to acquire Catholic Church
• The whole truth: Windows95 is a classified munition!
• The History of DOS
• Possible Bob(tm) Personalities
• Press Release: Microsoft Clarifies Trademark Policies
• Press Release: Windows 95 Will Have the Coolest Users Ever
• Press Release: Microsoft to shorten name
• Microsoft to sell Ad Space in Error Messages

Back to the Table of Contents.

Tech Support/Customer Support

• Etch-A-Sketch Tech Support.
• Reservations of an Airline Agent.
• Unix Tech Support.
• Biblical Tech Support.
• The other day, at the Help Desk

Back to the Table of Contents.

Internet, Mail and News

• An alt.coffee guide to the proper method of brewing great drip coffee at home
• This Ain't A Chain Letter
• Make Money Fast: A One Time Offer
• The Internet is like a Penis
• Chainletters and Virus Scares
• Gullibility Virus Spreading over the Internet!
• The Canonical List of ASCII Cows
• On using email in the U.K. in the Dark Ages: Please stop complaining...
• More Emoticons: alt.sex Smilies
• Usenet Guide to Power Posting
• 101 Ways to be Obnoxious on Usenet
• The Recreational Trolling FAQ!

Back to the Table of Contents.

Star Trek, Star Wars and Science Fiction

• Top 10 Things Likely To Be Overheard From A Klingon Programmer
• They're Made of Meat - A short story by Terry Bisson.
• The Top 11 Ways Voyager Would Be Different If It Were Set in Scotland
• The Star Trek Version of "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?"
• Filk-Song: Fifty Ways to Kill an Ensign
• If Dr. Seuss wrote Star Trek: The Next Generation
• The List of Things that never happen in Star Trek
• Be a Trekkie!
• Press Release: The Star Trek Writer's Construction Kit for Windows 95
• Star Trek: Voyager Daily Schedule

Back to the Table of Contents.

The Sexes

• Dictionary for Women
• Politically Correct Terms for Females
• If the World was fair to Guys...
• A Girl's Guide to Geeks
• Dictionary of Marriage Terms
• If Men had Periods...
• What a Man hears... - ganz klar, nur das, was er will.
• The Job Interview - Blondes beware!
• Oil Change Instructions - a comeback for the men vs. women at the ATM parody
• Not just for women: Men Explained
• The Differences Between Men and Women
• The Proxy Father
• The Pregnancy Advice Column
• Are You A Real Man?
• Five questions a woman shouldn't ask a guy.
• Two points of view: The Creation of the Opposite Sex
• What men really mean when they say...
• I'm glad I'm ...
• There are some rules that guys wished women knew
• And then there are the benefits of being a woman

Back to the Table of Contents.

Winter and Christmas

• A Little Weihnachtsgedicht (in Denglish)
• The Christmas Trousers
• ACLU Announces Lawsuit Against Santa Claus
• Christmas with Mulder and Scully: The Xmas Files
• Q&A with Pops Kringle: Letters to Santa
• Lawyer's Seasonal Greeting
• In the Matter Bush v. Kringle
• Play the Name that Christmas Carol Quiz.
• Logic dicates that Santa is a Woman.
• The Company Christmas Party - and what can go wrong there.
• Jesus and the Elves - A politically correct Nativity scene.
• Top Ten Rejected Christmas Toys - I don't think you'll find those at TRU.
• Rightsizing the Northpole, Inc. - The "lean & mean" version of the "Twelve Days of Christmas."
• A Letter from Santa - have you been good this year?
• Diary of a Snow Shoveler.
• Case Report: Unique Case of Aerial Sleigh-Borne Present-Deliverer's Syndrome.
• The origin of an old custom explained: A Christmas Story
• Santa's new Colleague will be Bubba Claus!

Back to the Table of Contents.

Philosophy and Religion

• Anecdote: The Preacher's Ass
• Press Release: Supreme Court Clears Commandments
• The Chain Letter of Paul the Apostle to the Corinthians
• Bible Verses - another "New priest" story
• The New Priest
• The Ebonics Version of The Lord's Prayer
• The Creation (90ies Version)
• Confessing to the Stand-in
• A Letter to the Reigious Advice Column
• The Creation and Fall of Man.
• The Book of Creation.
• If God was a Computer Programmer....
• A Religious Experience.
• Wauism - THE Religion for YOU!.
• Philosophies and Religions explained - in easy words.

Zurück zum Inhaltsverzeichnis.

Pets and other Pests

• Hamlet's Cat's Soliloquy
• Sex - An Anecdote about a guy who called his dog "Sex".
• Where Did Pets Come From? - a recently discovered part of the book Genesis
• The Cat Horoscope
• The Doggie Dictionary
• Basic Rules for Cats Who Have a House to Run
• How to bathe a Cat - ohne Verletzungsgefahr
• Too Many Kittens - you've got to get rid of them somehow.
• Rules for Dogs
• A Quiz For Humans And Cats
• A Cat's Diary
• Cat Got Your Tongue?
• How to kill two cows with one mine?

Back to the Table of Contents.

Sports and Athletes

• The Gorilla Golfer
• Athletes as Scholars - bright as a burnt-out bulb.
• The Golf Match
• Manchester's bid for the Olympics
• Here's a report on the 1994 Punkin' Chunkin' contest. How far can a pumpkin be thrown?
• Jesus and Moses play Golf
• Who's on First? - A classic Abbot & Costello skit.

Back to the Table of Contents.

Southern USA

• Hu's On First - The Abbot & Costello classic starring George Bush and Condolezza Rice
• Things you should know about the South
• Gardening Tips from Down South: How to Grow Kudzu
• Southern Horoscope
• 23 Rules for driving in Texas
• Texan Sayings - y'all dig?
• A Cowboy's Guide to Life
• The Chili Contest
• For everybody: Do-it-yourself Country & Western Song
• Translating Southern United States to English

Back to the Table of Contents.

US Presidential Election 2000

• Breaking News: God Overrules Supreme Court Verdict
• Al Gore Concession Speech - regarding the lost presidency.

Back to the Table of Contents.

Miscellaneous

• Newsflash: Ken Dumped By Barbie!
• The History of the English Language.
• Filk: Empty Chairs at Empty Cubicles.
• Various Types of Project Managers.
• Law Enforcement meets Little Red Riding Hood.
• Fables for our Time: The IRS Genie
• The Yiddish Parrot - an anecdote.
• The Suburbanites - God on Gardening.
• The Story of Hood, Riding, Little Red as told by the Military
• Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
• The MacGyver Cookbook
• Letter to the Bank
• Management Aptitude Quiz
• 20 Things I Learned From Action Movies
• Hit the Floor! - a small anecdote.
• The Mechanic's Tool Guide - explains the usage of all those fancy tools.
• Advertisements Gone Wrong in Translation - don't trust the Babel Fish ;-)
• Aviation Aphorisms
• Signs that you've had too much of the 90's
• Societies Explained - how political models work.
• Famous Predictions that went wrong.
• Shakespearean Insult-A-Matic
• Geek Terms for the Late 90'ies and the Dilbert Generation.
• Application for Agricultural Subsidies
• The Book - A Low-Tech Breakthrough
• The Scientists' Party - carzy puns.
• A classic by Mark Twain: The Awful German Language
• Barbies for Mature Women - more new Barbie models.
• If Paint was sold like Plane Tickets
• The Sexual Tension Quiz - Are you getting any?
• The Politically Correct version of Three Little Pigs
• The Fisherman
• New Barbie Models
• The 24 Coin Puzzle... revisited
• Tom Swiftie - puns explained.
• Changing Focus - how age impacts your goals and views.
• Advertising Terms Explained
• The World's Shortest Books
• Handy Latin Phrases
• The Campground Reservation
• The Airbag Contest
• Cliff Notes for Titanic
• The Thinker
• (Not so) hot off the presses: Spindler calls in Air Strike, destroys Apple to save it.
• Proverbs for the Year 2000
• Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide! - read this warning about a dangerous chemical compound!
• The Ultimate Science Dictionary - in the tradition of the Devil's Dictionary.
• Theses on Groucho Marxism
• Engineers Are... - strange people :-)
• Tickets Please...
• 1998 Federal Tax Return - if you could just unload your children on the IRS...
• What Armstrong Really Meant... - lifting the secret of Mr. Gorsky
• Beware The Spelling Traps!
• The Chaos - A poem about English Pronounciation
• How to stay Stressed
• The Loser's Guide: Troubleshooting Your New Stereo
• How to write a Paper
• Teaching Math and how it's changed over the years
• Mom's Brownie Recipe
• Your Autopsy
• The History of the English Language
• More of that '666' Jazz: The Beast
• Arthur Conan Doyle meets A Real-Life Sherlock Holmes
• A mathematical proof: Knowledge is Power
• Answers to the City of Los Angeles High School Math Proficiency Exam
• In the News: Hijacked Bus discovered!
• Check out How To Write a Rap / House / Disco Song and you'll be the next star!
• Find out what your boss thinks about you by using this Dictionary of Evaluation Comments.
• American, Australian, British and Canadian Cultural Differences Explained.
• Successfully Understanding The British - A Guide for American Visitors.
• The Politically Correct Version of Little Red Riding Hood.
• The ancient sage Confucius says... or did he really? :-)
• Re: Crusade - Is it dead? - status summary of the sequel to the Sci-Fi series Babylon 5
• Felix The Flying Frog - A Parable About Modern Management
• Find out why Software Dealers are like Drug Dealers.
• A Mathematical Limerick (also available as TeX Source)
• Marriage with a DEC Marketing Manager
• Things that make you go "Hmmm"
• Ultimate Oneness - the future of mergers.
• How To Annoy Star Wars Fans
• The College Foodchain - who's the boss?
• Stranded... on a lonley island...
• Bad things can happen when you're Pulled Over
• Today's Stock Market Report
• The Ski Trip
• Definition of "dysfunctional"
• Eight Rules for Dating my Daughter
• New Element Discovered - Administratium
• DRAGON - Demonize Random Apparent Groups Of Neighbors
• The "Blair Witch Project" Remake
• "WATER" Frequently Asked Questions - alt.drugs
• Press Release: The "Global Village"
• How to handle junk mail: Dear MCI...
• Press Release: Hacker Barbie
• Lunch the HP Way
• The Soap Story
• Dangerous Coffee
• How to buy a Stereo
• The Exxon Spill
• Your Horrorscope
• The History of the BBS User - A Musical Drama in -V- Parts
• AD&D Monster Manual addendum: Barney
• Find out about Chat Room Sex
• Comprehending Engineers
• How engineers are Lighting A Charcoal Grill

Back to the Table of Contents.

Humor on the Web

Cartoons

• Randy Glasbergen's Daily Cartoon
• Toon Zone - Spoofs of The X Files, Babylon 5 and Star Trek
• Down To Earth - A Daily about what's funny in Heaven & Hell
• Sherman's Lagoon
• Doctor Fun - Cartoon
• The Borderline Daily Cartoon
• User Friendly the Comic Strip
• Penny Arcade Cartoons - Video game related stuff and such. Cool!
• The Joke's on You ... because readers submit their own captions
• The Dilbert Zone - the cult classic by Scott Adams features a daily cartoon

Back to the Table of Contents.

Miscellaneous

• Vella's little shop of Humor
• Simon's Page - Home of the Bastard Operator From Hell
• The Jargon File
• I Am Bored - pages to surf to when you're bored

Back to the Table of Contents.

Links: Imprint, My Homepage.

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