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From: ac873@amp;cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Thomas Kimball)
Subject: Re: CARASSO: NEWSWEEK: MARCH 9, 1992: PAGE 8
Reply-To: ac873@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Thomas Kimball)
Date: Sun, 8 Mar 92 02:30:54 GMT Smilies

Finius J. Wuffey: You're the Greatest! brought up the subject of smileys. The following was forwarded to me (I think it was on some time back).

At any rate, I take no credit.

================= Begin forwarded message =================

Just thought these smilies might bring a smile to your face. After all ue did ask about smilies. =)

I've devised a new type of smilie, to raise the efficieny of communications on the Usenet:

:-) -: Smilie with an erection.
:-) 8 - Female.
:-| 8( )- Pregnant Female.
:-( :- Impotent (Or let down).
:-) -8 Blue balls.
;-) o===8 Braggart.
:-\ 8o After a cold shower.
;-) ===8 Circumcised.
8-O --* Just before doubling over with pain.
:-) -^-: In need of some corrective surgery.
:-) :-... Taking a leak.
:-} -oo-: Taking matters into hand.
:-{ -__-: After slamming the toilet seat.
:-o ^^^^: After zipping up fly too fast.

Now that we've seen them, let's learn how to use them:

>>Hi. I'm new to this group. I'm a very well endowed guy ;-) o===8
>>and am looking for a girl with large hooters :-) 8 -
>>to have wild, uninhibited sex with. :-0==8
>Look, mister, you obviously are just some desparate geek :-) -8
>trying to relieve yourself over the Usenet. I'd hate to :-O -oo-:
>think of what would happen if someone walked in on you. :-{ ^^^^:
>In fact, you're probably just mastering the simplest tasks
>of managing your "manhood". :-) :-.... --> :-{ -__-:

Eventually, of course, we could communicate entirely with these smilies, and eliminate the bulky overhead of words, such as the following:

>>>Newsgroup: alt.single
>>>:-) o===8 + :-) 8 - ? (Proposition)
>> :-o -8 --> :-o -oo-: ! (Alternative suggestion)
> :-o --* (Ooh. That hurt)

And, of course, Flames:

:-( : - (You call those breasts? I've seen bigger lumps in oatmeal!)
:-0===8 (Oh yeah? I bet that you...)
:-( :- (Not with you I don't!)

I hope that these smilies will lead to more open communications between people on the Net. :-) --:

================== End forwarded message ===================

Auswege: Impressum, Haftungsausschluß, Datenschutz, Humor im Internet, meine Homepage.
Links: Imprint, Humor on the Internet, my homepage.

Thomas Bätzler,