Newsgroups: alt.sex From: ac873@amp;cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Thomas Kimball) Subject: Re: CARASSO: NEWSWEEK: MARCH 9, 1992: PAGE 8 Reply-To: ac873@cleveland.Freenet.Edu (Thomas Kimball) Date: Sun, 8 Mar 92 02:30:54 GMT
Finius J. Wuffey: You're the Greatest! brought up the subject of smileys. The following was forwarded to me (I think it was on alt.singles some time back).
At any rate, I take no credit.
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Just thought these smilies might bring a smile to your face. After all ue did ask about smilies. =)
I've devised a new type of smilie, to raise the efficieny of communications on the Usenet:
| :-) -: | Smilie with an erection. |
| :-) 8 - | Female. |
| :-| 8( )- | Pregnant Female. |
| :-( :- | Impotent (Or let down). |
| :-) -8 | Blue balls. |
| ;-) o===8 | Braggart. |
| :-\ 8o | After a cold shower. |
| ;-) ===8 | Circumcised. |
| 8-O --* | Just before doubling over with
pain. |
| :-) -^-: | In need of some corrective
surgery. |
| :-) :-... | Taking a leak. |
| :-} -oo-: | Taking matters into hand. |
| :-{ -__-: | After slamming the toilet
seat. |
| :-o ^^^^: | After zipping up fly too
fast. |
Now that we've seen them, let's learn how to use them:
| >>Newsgroup: alt.singles | |
| >> | |
| >>Hi. I'm new to this group. I'm a very well endowed guy | ;-) o===8 |
| >>and am looking for a girl with large hooters | :-) 8 - |
| >>to have wild, uninhibited sex with. | :-0==8 |
| > | |
| >Look, mister, you obviously are just some desparate geek | :-) -8 |
| >trying to relieve yourself over the Usenet. I'd hate to | :-O -oo-: |
| >think of what would happen if someone walked in on you. | :-{ ^^^^: |
| >In fact, you're probably just mastering the simplest tasks | |
| >of managing your "manhood". | :-) :-.... --> :-{ -__-: |
Eventually, of course, we could communicate entirely with these smilies, and eliminate the bulky overhead of words, such as the following:
| >>> | Newsgroup: alt.single | |
| >>> | :-) o===8 + :-) 8 - ? | (Proposition) |
| >> | :-o -8 --> :-o -oo-: ! | (Alternative suggestion) |
| > | :-o --* | (Ooh. That hurt) |
And, of course, Flames:
| :-( : - | (You call those breasts? I've seen bigger lumps in oatmeal!) |
| :-0===8 | (Oh yeah? I bet that you...) |
| :-( :- | (Not with you I don't!) |
I hope that these smilies will lead to more open communications between people on the Net. :-) --:
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Links: Imprint,
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$Id$