Newsflash: Ken Dumped By Barbie!
A mere two days before Valentine's Day, Mattel has announced that Barbie is ditching Ken cold after their 42 year relationship. "Like other celebrity couples, their Hollywood romance has come to an end," said Russell Arons, vice president of marketing at Mattel. Arons said that Barbie and Ken "feel it's time to spend some quality time -- apart."
"It's splitsville for Barbie and Ken," today's CNN webpage trumpeted, the story eclipsing such less-important headlines as "British flights grounded amid terrorism fears" and "Pakistan to share nuclear evidence".
The announcement, made even as conservative lawmakers fight to uphold a traditional view of the institution of marriage, was followed up by more lurid rumors of a possible new relationship between Barbie and the doll Blaine, described by CNN as "Blaine the Australian boogie boarder." The outsourcing of yet another American position, and the implication that Barbie was no longer satisfied with American males, may add to the political repercussions of today's news.
Barbie will be keeping the Malibu Dream Home, the Living In Style Kitchen, the Barbie Volkswagen Microbus, the Barbie Ford Thunderbird and the Barbie Cruise Ship. Ken will be unemployed. "He will head for other waves," Arons said cryptically.
When asked for release dates of "Bitter Jilted Ken" and "Jack Daniel's Ken", Mattel declined comment.
More humor about Barbies:
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny Subject: News: Ken Dumped By Barbie! From: firstname.lastname@example.org (O. Sharp) Message-ID: <S14ae.email@example.com> Date: Fri, 13 Feb 2004 19:30:00 PST
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