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How to buy a stereo

  1. Carefully calculate power requirements, based on room dimensions, etc. Multiply by a factor of 100.

  2. The ideal system should have as many lights as possible, preferably blinking and flashing in time with the music.

  3. The components should all have black metal finish, and generally look very C00L.

  4. The system should be broken up into as many components as possible. (e.g. pre-amp, pre-pre-amp, post-amp, etc.)

  5. The most important part of a stereo system is the speakers, they should look very cool. Size and number of sub-speakers is important. (e.g. woofers, tweeters, sub-woofers, super-sub-woofers, etc.)

  6. The system should resemble the cockpit of an F16 or 757 aircraft.

  7. The system should have full remote control capability, including over the mobile auto cellular phone so that the stereo can be playing as you get home.

  8. Should have the capability of playing different music in every room of the house.

  9. Components should have a cool names.

  10. The complete set up should put a major recording studio or large radio station to shame.

  11. Having state of the art equiptment is not enough. You should be a year or two ahead of everyone else. Equipment over the warranty period is obsolete and should be disposed of promptly.

  12. The most important factor...
    Out of everyone you know who owns stereo equipment, yours should be better.

taken from:

From: (Henry Cate IV)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Funky stuff - part 70
Message-ID: <HC4.70@arisia.Xerox.COM>
Date: 25 Oct 90 01:29:20 GMT


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Thomas Bätzler,
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