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Cultural Differences Explained

 

Aussies:
Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians:
Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans:
Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits:
Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.

 

Aussies:
Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits:
Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
Americans:
Believe that people should look out for & take care of themselves.
Canadians:
Believe that that's the government's job.

 

Aussies:
Are extremely patriotic to their beer.
Americans:
Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians:
Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them.
Brits:
Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.

 

Americans:
Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians:
Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits:
Pay a tax just so they can watch four channels.
Aussies:
Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.

 

Americans:
Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball, and basketball.
Brits:
Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer, and rugby.
Canadians:
Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies:
Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they play them in.

 

Americans:
Spell words differently, but still call it "English".
Brits:
Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English".
Canadians:
Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans.
Aussies:
Add "G'day", "mate" and a heavy accent to everything they say in an attempt to get laid.

 

Brits:
Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Aussies:
Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Americans:
Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.
Canadians:
Cross the southern border for cheap shopping, gas, & liquor in a backwards country.

 

Americans:
Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
Canadians:
Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
Brits:
Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
Aussies:
Drink anything with alcohol in it.

 

Americans:
Seem to think that poverty & failure are morally suspect.
Canadians:
Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits:
Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited things.
Aussies:
Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.

Source:

Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet
Subject: [alt.usage.english] This explains it all!
From: s.meric@ix.netcom.com (Polar)
Date: 16 Apr 1997 09:06:18 +0200
Message-ID: ahbou=3320A9C4.4130@rahul.net

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Links: Imprint, Humor on the Internet, my homepage.


Thomas Bätzler, Thomas@Baetzler.de
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