Subject: DRAGON Software (OT joke)
From: Roger P Williams <email@example.com>
Are you confused? Our modern world has become so complicated and
frightening that many people can no longer keep track of who to blame for
it all. If you find yourself wondering who to fault for all the things
that are wrong with the world, you need my new software package:
D R A G O N
Demonize Random Apparent Groups Of Neighbors
Just enter your worries into DRAGON's user-friendly interface, and it will
use the same sophisticated algorithms found in lottery prediction programs
to generate a sorted, categorized explanation of WHO IS RESPONSIBLE, and
WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT. Just check out these features found in the free
- OVER 100 CATEGORIES by class, race, temperament, sexual orientation,
income, and dozens of other dividing lines between YOU and THEM;
- AUTOMATIC hate-mail generator creates letters to your congressman,
newspaper, targets, and allies;
- NEW INTERNET FEATURES! Why waste your valuable time reading offensive
Usenet posts when DRAGON will do it for you? Automatically mailbomb and
harass people you disagree with. Automatically spam newsgroups which
don't conform to your belief system. Also DRAGON's automatic webcrawler
will locate both offensive and agreeable World Wide Web pages for you and
mail their owners as appropriate.
- KOOK DETECTOR warns you if your world-view has become too conflicted to be
believable to the consensus reality;
- FACT REJECTOR eliminates threats to your world-view before you see them.
- ARGUMENT CIRCULARIZER tells you the perfect moment to return to some point
your opponent in an argument thought was settled, so your DRAGON-created
worldview can never be proven wrong;
- SQUEAMISH MODE inhibits DRAGON from suggesting that your enemies be
- INVERSE MODE causes DRAGON to assume you hate EVERYBODY, and creates a
list of the people you DON'T hate. Sometimes a real time saver!
REGISTER NOW AND GET THESE GREAT ADDITIONAL FEATURES
- MOEBIUS FILTER prevents DRAGON from inadvertently creating a world view
which demonizes *YOU*;
- ARGUMENT DE-CIRCULARIZER lets you know when someone else is using DRAGON's
Argument Circularizer against *YOU*;
- RAMBO MODE causes DRAGON to suggest killing EVERYBODY you dislike.
Special bonus: Using SQUEAMISH and RAMBO mode together causes DRAGON to
make nice-sounding noises in public but giving your private thoughts that
Nietzschian edge some people crave. Important if your boss reads your
Internet postings, and is on your DRAGON list.
WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO HATE TODAY?
It's a confusing world. Download DRAGON today and see how simple it can
appear. Note: DRAGON requires DOS or UNIX and will not run under
Windows. People who need graphical interfaces should be put up against a
wall and shot, anyway.
Auswege: Impressum, Haftungsausschluß, Datenschutz,
Humor im Internet,
Humor on the Internet,