- Al Gore Concession Speech, 1st Draft
Good evening, my fellow Americans:
Tonight we come to the end of a long road and the start of
a new one. Having exhausted all avenues of appeal in the U.S. and Florida, my legal team has filed a
claim in World Court seeking to overturn the Florida elect...
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- Al Gore Concession Speech, 2nd Draft
Good evening, my fellow Americans:
Tonight, in the spirit of national unity and despite being
the undisputed winner of the popular vote...
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- Al Gore Concession Speech, 3rd Draft
Good evening, everyone.
Many of you no doubt know what it feels like to get royally
shafted...
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- Al Gore Concession Speech, 4th Draft
Good evening, my fellow Americans.
Although it is the opinion of my attorneys and myself that
I do not fit the legal definition of "loser,"...
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- Al Gore Concession Speech, 5th Draft
Good evening, my fellow Americans.
Approximately 12 million light years ago, when I was first
dispatched to your planet from Zolloid 9...
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- Al Gore Concession Speech, 6th Draft
I can't do this. I just can't do this.
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- Al Gore Concession Speech, 7th Draft
Hello, my fellow Americans. It's been a long and difficult month for me and, indeed, for the
entire nation. But the time has come for us all to throw our enthusiastic support behind our next
president, George W. Buhh... Bbb... Bahoo. (laugh) Pardon me. Let me try that again: President George W.
Buh, Buh. For crying out loud, people! How hard can it be to punch out a freakin' cardboard hole in a
ballot? Morons!
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- Al Gore Concession Speech, 8th Draft
My fellow Americans, in light of recent unfavorable court decisions, it has come to my
understanding that a majority of you want to turn the country over to a recovering alcoholic and
functional illiterate...
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- Al Gore Concession Speech, 9th Draft
Good evening, my fellow Americans.
You know, when I was a young boy frolicking on the zero-
gravity ash fields of Zolloid 9, it never occurred to me when I downloaded the human emotion coding
sequence...
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- Al Gore Concession Speech, 10th Draft
Good evening, my fellow Americans.
Have you ever known someone who took something from a
store without paying for it? That's called "stealing," and in America stealing is a cri...
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- Al Gore Concession Speech, 11th Draft
My fellow Americans, most of you probably know how to count. One. Two. Three. And so on. See?
It's not that difficult. (Smile). So can someone please explain to me why the state of Florida...
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- Al Gore Concession Speech, 12th Draft
Good evening, everyone. Generally speaking, civil war is never a good thing. But there are
times... ah, forget it.
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