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Dictionary of Marriage Terms

Author unknown

Bachelor

  1. A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
  2. A guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.
  3. A man who never makes the same mistake once.
  4. A nice guy who has cheated some nice girl out of her alimony.
  5. A person who believes in life, liberty, and the happiness of pursuit.
  6. The only man who has never told his wife a lie.

Bride

A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Cad

A man who doesn't tell his wife that he's sterile until she's pregnant.

Compromise

An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way.

Diplomat

A man who can convince his wife she would look fat in a fur coat.

Housework

What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn't do it.

Mistress

Something between a mister and a mattress.

Mother-in-Law

A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

Mrs.

A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings, and no recognition.

Spouse

Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in the first place.

 


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Thomas Bätzler, Thomas@Baetzler.de
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