Barbies for the Mature Woman
Finally a Barbie for the mature woman! At long last, here are some new Barbie dolls to
coincide with her and our ageing gracefully.
These are a bit more realistic...
- Bifocals Barbie:
Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colours (half-frames too!),
neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
- Hot Flash Barbie:
Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration
appear on her forehead. Comes with hand-held fan and tiny tissues.
- Facial Hair Barbie:
As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and
- Flabby Arms Barbie:
Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front,
too - muumuus with tummy-support panels are included.
- Bunion Barbie:
Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty
arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.
- No-More-Wrinkles Barbie:
Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's
own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics.
- Soccer Mom Barbie:
All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts off her old high
school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white, and cooler
filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.
- Mid-life Crisis Barbie:
It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer) is just what the
doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley
to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do."
- Divorced Barbie:
Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.
- Recovery Barbie:
Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps
instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with a little copy
of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke.
- Post-Menopausal Barbie:
This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She
is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes
with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner
Self" is included.
More humor about Barbies:
Auswege: Impressum, Haftungsausschluß, Datenschutz,
Humor im Internet,
Humor on the Internet,
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