- Air Compressor:
A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms
it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts
last tightened 60 years ago by someone in Springfield, and rounds them off.
- Aviation Metal Snips:
- Battery Electrolyte Tester:
A handy tool for transferring sulfuric acid from a car battery to the inside of your toolbox
after determining that your battery is dead as a doornail, just as you thought.
- Craftsman ½ X 16-Inch Screwdriver:
A large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on
the end without the handle.
- Drill Press:
A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so
that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that
freshly painted part you were drying.
- E-Z Out Bolt and Stud Extractor:
A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.
- Eight-Foot Long Douglas Fir 2x4:
Used for levering a car upward off a hydraulic jack.
- Electric Hand Drill:
Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also
works great for drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that goes to the rear
One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy
into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal
your future becomes.
Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to
locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.
- Hose Cutter:
A tool used to cut hoses ½ inch too short.
- Hydraulic Floor Jack:
Used for lowering a car to the ground after youhave installed new front disk brake pads, trapping
the jack handle firmly under the front fender.
- Mechanic's Knife:
Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door;
works particularly well on boxes containing such item as; leather seats, motorcycle jackets, plastic oil
- Oxyacetelene Torch:
Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. Also handy
for igniting the grease inside a brake drum you're trying to get the bearing race out of.
- Phillips Screwdriver:
Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt;
can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.
Tool for calling your neighbor to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.
Used to round off bolt heads.
- Pry Bar:
A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order
to replace a 50 cent part.
- Snap-on Gasket Scraper:
Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo
off your boot.
- Timing Light:
A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup.
- Trouble Light:
The mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin
D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under automobiles at night. Health
benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm
howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often
dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.
A tool for removing wood splinters.
- Two-Ton Hydraulic Engine Hoist:
A handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and brake lines you may have
forgotten to disconnect.
Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer
intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
- Whitworth Sockets:
Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for
impersonating that 9/16 or ½ socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.
- Wire Wheel Brush:
Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of
light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you