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Mom's Brownie Recipe

Author unknown

  • Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.
  • Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.
  • Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Billy "no, no."
  • Add margarine to 2 cups sugar.
  • Take shortening can away from Billy and clean cupboards.
  • Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.
  • Take shortening can away from Billy again and bathe cat.
  • Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail.
  • Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.
  • Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation.
  • Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line the call was a mistake.
    Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill.
  • Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.
  • Let cat out of refrigerator.
  • Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan.
  • Bake 25 minutes.
  • Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy. Explain to kids that you have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn.
  • Throw cat outside while there's still time and he's still able to run away.

Frosting

  • Mix the following in saucepan:
    • 1 cup sugar
    • 1 oz unsweetened chocolate
    • 1/4 cup margarine
  • Take the @#$&#$ teddy bear out of the @#$% broiler and throw it away -- far away.
  • Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't know Billy had slipped out of the house and was heading for the street. Put Billy in playpen.
  • Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes.
  • Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for ruined carpet.
  • Tie Billy to clothesline.
  • Remove burned brownies from oven.

 


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Links: Imprint, Humor on the Internet, my homepage.


Thomas Bätzler, Thomas@Baetzler.de
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