Possible Bob(tm) Personalities
By Mark Hartman
Microsoft's new on-line active help facility called "Bob" is
rumored to permit you to select a "personality" with which you
can interact more easily. Here are a few personalities that I think we're
likely to see:
- The "grandmother" personality:
Cares a lot about you, and will leave you everything after it dies.
- The "jewish mother" personality:
Continuously admonishes you to eat more disk space, and
lays a guilt trip on you if you interconnect with goyim
- The "drill instructor" personality:
Demands 20 push-ups every time you click the wrong icon.
- The "shy and retiring" personality:
Will only help you if you don't get upset (since this is
Windows, after all, very few people will ever see this one).
- The "domineering" personality:
Knows what you need to do, and will do it for you.
Don't touch the mouse, you'll just get in the way.
- The "Bill Gates" personality:
Like the "domineering" personality, but knows
that, whatever the need, Microsoft has the answer. Requires a
modem and a credit card number (with a high limit) for
- The "BHA" personality:
Before it will help you, it demands adulation (but heaven
help you if you mention its name), but gives you help with
billions and billions of things.
- The "rotten little smart kid" personality:
Does everything for you way too fast for you to see, and
then makes comments about your ancestry when you don't do it
© Copyright 1995, Mark Hartman. All rights reserved. Permission to
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