Microsoft to buy God
REDMOND, Wash. - May 28, 1999 -- Microsoft Corporation today announced its intent to purchase, copyright, and upgrade God Himself. The new product would be named "Microsoft God," and would be available to consumers sometime in late 1999, before the millennium.
"Too many people feel separated from God in today's world," said Dave McCavaugh, director of Microsoft's new Religions division.
"Microsoft God will make our Lord more accessible, and will add an easy, intuitive user interface to Him, making Him not only easier to find, but easier to communicate with."
The new Microsoft Religions line will be expanded to include a multitude of add-on products to Microsoft God, including:
Additionally, Microsoft is expected to announce a line of complimentary products for the new Religions line, which will enhance the functionality of the Microsoft God server product by providing a customized user interface.
These interfaces will be based on popular religious sects, allowing worshipers to interact with the new God product in much the same way as the previous version. This line is expected to include Microsoft Protestant, Microsoft Catholicism, Microsoft Judaism (incompatible with Microsoft Savior), etc.
Competitor Netscape Communications denies rumors that it is planning to release a competing product, Netscape Satan, that would attempt to render Microsoft God installations inoperable.
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