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Texan Sayings

Author unknown

"If I tell you a hen dips snuff, you can look under her wing."

You can rest assured I'm telling you the truth.

"I hope to be kicked to death by grasshoppers if it ain't the truth."

I'm not lying.

"You could ride to town on that blade without a blanket."

A dull knife.

"He could bite through a side of bacon without greasing a gum."

He has a big mouth.

"His hogs are so poor it takes six of them to make a shadow."

Poverty stricken.

"Bigger'n Dallas."

Expensive, large.

"Scarce as hen's teeth and frog fangs."

A rare occurrence.

"You can't tell how deep a well is by measuring the length of the pump handle."

Looks can be deceiving.

"I think that ol' gal swallered a watermelon seed."

A pregnant woman.

"I've seen cows hurt worse than this and get well."

A reference to a poorly-cooked or rare steak.

"Who stuck the burr under your saddle?"

Who made you mad?

"Nobody ever drowned in sweat."

Hard work never hurt anyone.

"He's making three tracks in the dirt."

He's so tired he's dragging.

"Watch out or you'll plow up snakes."

Be careful what you say or you'll create a problem.

"Get down and cool the seat of your saddle."

Come in and visit for a while.

"An empty bucket makes the most racket."

A shallow or superficial person usually talks a lot, but says nothing of importance.

"Some folks are all right until they get two pairs of britches."

Prosperity often affects people adversely.

"Let's call in the dogs and see if they're wet."

I wonder if it's raining outside.

"He's trying to throw a wide loop with a short rope."

He's trying to be something he isn't.

"I feel like I've been rode hard and put up wet."

Exhausted.

"A dry well teaches us the worth of water."

We seldom appreciate the best things in life.

"He has more guts than you can hang on a fence."

Unafraid.

"I can't cotton to that."

I don't like it.

"Everytime I stand up, my mind sits down."

Unable to think clearly.

"Don't let your mouth overload your tail."

Don't talk too much.

"The time to kill a snake is when he raises his head."

Be decisive in your actions. When a problem arises, attend to it.

"Like tryin' to scratch your ear with your elbow."

An effort that cannot produce results.

"Throwin' your rope before you make a loop ain't gonna catch the cow."

Be prepared before you act.

"Every man is born free and equal. If he gets married, that's his fault."

Marriage is restrictive.

"A liar needs a good memory."
"Figures never lie, but liars can figure."

Lies cause trouble.

"A bird in the hand causes a big mess."

Things aren't always what they seem to be.

"Friendly as fire ants."

Hostile.

"If you put his brains in a bumblebee, he would fly backwards."

Not very bright.

"He'd foul up a two-car funeral."

Error-prone.

"He can eat corn through a picket fence."

Buck-toothed.

"He's studyin' to be a half-wit, and I'm afraid he ain't gonna make it."

Lacks wisdom.

"He's a hundred dollar saddle and a twenty dollar horse man. "

Lacks a sense of value.

"That horse will throw him so high that birds'll build nests in his ears before he hits the ground."

A wild bucking horse, or a bad decision.

"I covered my back with my belly."

Sleeping in the open without blankets.

"You can cut off a dog's tail, but you can't sew it back."

A bad mistake can't be corrected. Make sure of your intent and purpose before you start something.

"Nothin' dries as quick as a tear."

Problems soon pass.

"A diarrhea of words and a constipation of thoughts."

Meaningless conversation.

"Dirt shows up on the cleanest cotton."

Misdeeds by pious individuals are evident to everyone.

"How's momma and them?"

A greeting meaning, "How are you?"

"We've howdyed but we ain't shook."

We haven't been formally introduced.

 


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Links: Imprint, Humor on the Internet, my homepage.


Thomas Bätzler, Thomas@Baetzler.de
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